WALT: We Are Learning To...

In my writing group,(Millie, Meg, Kyla, Natalie.)We are learnig to use (Brackets) and Semicolons;
This is a story I wrote trying to use semicolons and brackets.

Kaimanawa Muster

Thud, thud ... my hooves galloped fast trying to get away from the monster buzzing above my head. Men on horse back gallop fast trying to keep up. I neigh a shrill high pitched note, "We are in danger" I yell, 
"I think we all know that!" Destiny the wise old mare yells back to me.

  While we are panicing like a fish in a shark tank;the men on horseback were as calm as FISH tank!
"Stop this nonsense" Koru my foal said.     
"I'm trying" I say softly, (which is hard when you are in a state of panic.) Then I think of something. I turn on my hocks, (calf) and rear up threatening to fight. My herd take the chance, they turn and gallop sideways trying to get away. The skillful horseman round them up ignoring me like I was a foal being annoying. 


The terror was over, now there was more. We got to put in yards. I looked and looked for Koru, finally I finally found him, he was lyng down and moving around restlessly. "Koru" I said. 
"Mum, I am scared!", Koru whimpered.

By Pip.